secret paradise

indecisive

2008-11-25T09:27:00.000-08:00

after spending hours changing my current skin i have decided to move on to wordpress:

http://carameditare.wordpress.com/
see you there!

2008-11-22T10:02:00.001-08:00

Its 2.21a.m. :/ And my hair is still wet so while waiting for it to dry I'll post quickly about prom before I forget :) prom was quite okay, but the balls of my feet are dead now! A lot of picture taking gosh our emails will be spammed with tags soon I think, by tmr or the day after. The food was not bad, and some of the games are quite fun also. Either way I don't see how can anyone dread prom/dislike it cause its one of the last times we're going to be together so.. even if everything else sucked, its the company that counts! I'm saying of course, IF. The guys were either dressed in black or white and the girls.. quite a variety I guess. I liked the venue though if I had a Christmas party I'd have one there! Provided enough people.. the walls make the place look like a fireplace!!

Suzie's the best - she did my makeup and hair and nails all in a day even though she was sick and its free, kind of even though we had to pay for the materials. And so I went to prom in 'vroom,vroom!' car which was a little, uncomfortable but I'm not complaining look I even had free voluntary transport and he drove his dad's car back so yay it was more comfortable, definitely (:

On friday, I smartly started on a Jap drama and finished the entire series of 11 episodes. Started at 5pm and ended at almost 3am! :/ ha but it was worth it. Pretty faces good plot and makes me think harder about the medical profession in general, even though its just a fictional drama. Which explains why I was so tired at prom towards the end! :( I was like sleeeeeepy. Cause Suzie woke me up at 8 am this morning to get out of house.

I must do some work tomorrow! Have been totally doing NOTHING the past two days.. Never practice substantial piano/cello. But I feel liberated in a way, maybe its good to take breaks and face the music with the fresh mind. (: I guess I'm just cooking up ridiculous excuses for my complacency but hey breaks ARE supposed to work sometimes. Sometimes.

Daddy's flying off to HK tmr! :( I'm going to miss him I <3 daddy most he's the best! SIgh this means that Mom will be pissy/menopausal gosh save me from all the shouting :(

2008-11-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

Siow Lee Chin's concert today. For obvious reasons, the first half was spent outside of the conservatory hall, watching the concert through a 25inch flat screen tv with panasonic speakers. And the aunties behind us were actually saying "its sooo beautiful". I mean, its digitalised. Sounds like recordings, no?

And we finally got tickets - balcony seats aft the interval upon approaching a woman who was going to pass her tickets to some admin staff. So yeah, basically for more details just click on Jasmine in the links, i'm sure she will blog about it soon. (: Saw quite a few people. I think its Jane, Evelyn's daddy and my piano teacher.

Piano lessons have been bad lately I feel horrible even just waving to her. I mean, how are you supposed to feel when you see your piano teacher. I mean apart from the "omg you're here" feeling there's another feeling that you will feel that occurs simultaneously/a split second later right. It feels as if I haven't practiced enough is it a sense of guilt?I don't know I just feel as if I don't belong, like piano lessons have taken a toll on my life and every week I'm just in fear of making this pregnant lady pissed/frustrated again. Shit la.

How should I put this. All my friends, they're swimmers but me, I'm just a floater, a drifter? I know its good to have faith in myself but sometimes I really wonder if I'm up to it. And more often than not I wonder how did I even end up in Nanyang, or NUS High. Like, I don't study a lot more than others or possess a disgustingly obscene IQ score. Its as if everything was chance? But how far can chance carry me?

2008-11-15T07:18:00.000-08:00

I need an opinionated soul to help me so I don't end up losing my brains. A person who doesn't tell me that everything is nice/good/sweet/awesome just to please; someone who can actually provide some useful/good opinion when I need it.

Someone who thinks a lot a lot deeper than I do and whom I can learn a lot about life from;who keeps to his/her words and promises and don't end up divulging secrets or selfishly complain about a lot of things in general to the whole world.

A person who's pace is almost too fast for me to catch up, and not one who will adjust to my pace.

Basically I'm just in need of a living thing(human/dog/white tiger/lion/zebra/hippo/giraffe etc) who can bring out the best in me. Grr I'm in a slump now.

"...it's more so like getting to know yourself. how far can you push it? how far can you go before you let it go and ask for help? and when you do, you come to realise that the one you can rely on most is not your friends, and it's not even your family. more often than not, you are the one you almost always depend on, and it's up to you if you get over it or not."

2008-11-14T05:31:00.000-08:00

It was weird today during sports day I should have ran I guess :( I actually felt bad not running but I really cannot run.. and neither do I want to be caught in a pathetic state (due to really bad fitness) in dire need of an oxygen mask. I guess its a blessing in disguise the younger division members can run faster then me (old fat unfit hag) so u know, I guess they sorta bring up the average point.

Sports Day was so different when I was still in cheer but I guess cheer is like previous century fun in school and no one ever does it anymore (in sch) so oh well. But it was fun in the past making ties/caps a lot of weird stuff until things got awry gradually after some point of time. Oh well c'est la vie. Things happen for a reason (:

Madagascar II: I succumbed to the evil temptations of the media. It's called the bullet theory or something (so says Suzie's Mass Comm notes) or aka the art of persuasion/incessant whining by Jasmine and the fact that Adabelle deserted me for BUS 189 and I had no one to go in the same direction with. It was quite a funny movie so I have no complains but I just felt really bad aft that AGAIN on the way home because I knew I shouldn't have gone out I had so much stuff at home to do (which I should be doing now but I just need to de-stress okay) so yeah.

So, I have ranted enough & I shall get back to work soon/now (:

2008-11-13T07:51:00.000-08:00

Kallang on Tuesday and Thursday (today) to support the netball team; definitely a lot more relaxing sitting down just to watch and not having to play - it was also fun because we just sat there and talked rubbish. And captain's ball/netball/street aft the match! (:

Also on Tuesday, I went down to Esplanade to get scores for Viv's wedding. I'm hoping that some fairy will grant me some Mozart-ish talent/gift and that I will be able to read the pieces by nextnext week gosh its so soon.. And I borrowed my first library book in 3?6?months.. HaHa and uknw what I have a feeling I'm going to return the book almost unread. Srsly can't stand lib books they are old and tattered and I always end up wrapping them in paper :/ Plus, the book is a little, boring and too cheeem for a person like me with the brain WURM :(

Its SportsDayII tmr.. Can't the school just shorten the agony and compress it into one day :( Oh well I hope those who are running tmr will have no more muscle aches! (: I guess I can't skip tmr not only because I don't have a valid excuse but I need to hand in the form for WBC. Grrr its so expensive I feel bad for spending Dad's $$ I better learn something from it. And yeah there's also mentor class outing.. well.

And Sat there's Varied Tellings. Crap I'm spending $$ like water literally. Sucks.

2008-11-08T07:43:00.000-08:00

Internship is over! It made me feel lazy on a Saturday, cause if there is internship I will end up being busy from 9-5 (cause of tuition after geepeeaye) but I just slacked my day away. I will kinda miss internship a little I guess.. Sigh oh well I guess tomorrow I shall go shopping with Mommy (to find her clothes note: not mine) since she needs to settle the vacation flight tickets, anyway. So I will be going to Hongkong for.. a countable number of days (or maybe even hours) its gna be my shortest vacation since forever due to WBC (no, not white blood cells) go figure. I'm a little upset now though cause I will be spending such a short time in Hongkong :( Its a nice place, in December, at least.. Let's hope that WBC will be enjoyable (I'm sure it will be in terms of company, at least!) :D

I wanted to change my watch today. Ended up going to the shop and stared at the watches for half and hour and I have no idea what I want lah. Its so annoying. :( I just like my black watch the best. No substitute. :[

School's gna end soon, officially. I was pseudo-reflecting about the (almost) four years in nus high just now as I was showering and I realised that things would be so different if everyone ended up in different cliques. Afterall its the people around you that mould you into who you are today. (this is random but someone please remind me to clear my locker) Back to the topic, I feel quite bad for being a complacent girl in years3/4 and to quite a considerable extent years5/6. Nvm I shall try to rmb to study hard in university and hopefully do my mommy proud (what great dreams!)

Okay so we're supposed to go for a class buffet at seoul garden on 14 nov at BUGIS someone save me bugis AGAIN?! urgh okay fine bugis bugis but seoul garden? oh my as if sports day don't stink people up enough haha I will smell like a mixture of perspiration and barbeque meat after that. :( Haiz I wish I could say that I would be paying for the company (but honestly that will be lying to myself) I will miss some people in my mentor group but sometimes..its just different frequency okay. Call them weird, or you could just say that I'm a stupiddumdum but I can't seem to converse in the same lingo like.. how does a doggy speak to a macaw? ya you get my point. Okay positive positive its one of the last times I will be seeing these people and there is a chance that I will start to miss them later in life. And of course there is Ms Tan who is like one of the best mentors so.. haha just give face la, huh. :D

I need/want to sleep goodnight!

BTW I dreamt that my gums were bleeding like no one's business (everywhere) it was such a nightmare shattzzz like I kept brushing and it keeps bleeding and doesn't stop :/ scaryyzz

apprehensive

2008-11-05T07:05:00.001-08:00

I don't want school to end

I'm gna miss everyone. A lot! :(

Internship will end on Friday. I may not 舍不得 it so much, but I must admit that I cannot imagine not going to work on Wed Thurs Friday Sat, I will feel so strange. I'm going to feel a little..disoriented the next few weeks. To think that just a few months ago I was like.. I'm gna quit in a month HAHA wow time flies.

It feels so weird I will not have anymore music education in school the only source of music education will be cello piano private study, which I'm a little screwed for oops. :/ HELP Bless me the next five years I shall be bombarded with science, development and technology lets hope I won't drown in information overload usage of too much left brain :Z (if it doesn't get eaten up by the brain wurm by then)

I'm gna miss Dr. Wong and the weird bunch of music majors :( cricricriiiiiii.

My bed beckons.

trying so hard

2008-11-02T06:26:00.000-08:00

never overlook the minute details
when solving a mystery, sometimes

the answer lies just right beside you

People who try too hard are just revolting. There's a thin line that differentiates trying hard from trying too hard and where the line is drawn really depends on each individual. When the line is crossed it would be inevitable that people get cheesed off. More or less.

Just like there probably isn't anything wrong with eating your rice before eating all your vegetables, trying too hard may not be a bad thing. It's just the feeling, that someone is trying so hard to get into a particular social class or get some association with the upper society, for instance, that irks and puts me off more than instantaneously. I can't quite explain that feeling, though. But some part of me tells me that Joanne will understand how I feel, somehow.

Who sparked off this writing prompt thou shalt not disclose, for the sake of world peace (:

2008-10-30T07:08:00.000-07:00

Initially I wrote a post on music-related activities but forget it. I'm lazy to post it.

Anyway, finally! Adabelle is back at work! (: No more bored Eunice ('cept for some period of time today before lunch) Haha. Some media reporters came to gpa today. How howhow I think I have brainworm! You know the ones found in goats/sheep that cause them to behave really strangely.

girrebellins =/= giberrelins!

and thats just one.. average example of the manymany evidences that my brain is malfunctioning. Oh dear and I'm getting more vulgar/rude as the days go by. Noooooooo. Ok I shall sleep. (at 1015pm) haha.

2008-10-26T03:04:00.000-07:00

I am mostly done with what I am supposed to do for IR. Got to wait for comments to make major changes to my parts though (I forsee) because there are some parts that I am not sure whether to include/delete of so yeah.

Anyway today I had no tuition (: So after calli Mom Pops and I drove over to Bras Basah Complex to get my music books (: They don't have Faure though but that's fine, at least I got my Beethoven (70+ SGD!) and Bach. Ouch.

Yesterday we had dinner at Maxwell Market. Or is it Chinatown Market? Ugh, all the same anyway you get my point. But let me tell you what Genious Daddy ordered.
1. Sliced Fish Hor Fun
2. Sliced Fish Sheng Mian
3. Sliced Fish Beehoon Soup
4. A dish of veggie. Kai Lan, I think.

Ha ha ha. He has a feud with fish, in general. Its like fish overkillll. The Hor Fun is nice though.

Then we went to get pastries for sis's wedding! Mom and Dad wanted to look at some jewellery but we were too late, as usual. So we ended up going home at 11. :[ We were supposed to go to the tailor's to see mom and Suzie's dress but Suzie couldn't make it so it was a letdown :(

Oh well. I'm supposed to be in HK from 2 Dec - 7/8 Dec! (There's nothing major happening in school then right, is there!) This time the primary reason is to inform my relatives about my sis's wedding and also to visit them in general. Cause Momz said that they are old and she wants to see them so I guess.. No complains. My HK uncle is some avid drinker who mumbles rubbish when he is drunk. The wife of that same uncle brews yummy mysterious concoctions. Pretty fascinating. I want to get a new luggage though, my old one is in like.. pieces all thanks to those moody airport staff.

2008-10-24T07:20:00.001-07:00

eww grad cap was out this afternoon yawnnnn i shall not bore you with mediocre ewwkneeez.

anw, i'm doing IR now. Not exactly productive as I would like it to be so I better work my ass off before the clock strikes 12 because thereafter time will pass at the speed of light.

today! we got let off 1 hr early from internship (thankew evaaaaaaaa). Got so irritated with the fact that I had nothing to do I whipped out a "Medical...Physiology" book by Guyton? from the mini-nano-pico library which btw looked a little cheeeem :( but probably the least cheeem of the few books there. And I revised Advanced Animal Physiology. Something about the RAAS, renin - angiotensinI (all thanks to angiotensinogen) and with the aid of converting enzyme found in the lung (!) converting it to angiotensin II which causes blood pressure to increase and at the same time, vasoconstriction (mainly arterioles but also veins) so the heart can pump harder and erm. water and salt rentention. voila! Before I could get my eyes on the aldosterone part we were allowed to leave.. so yeah. Wanted to do IR at work but I knew I won't be able to concentrate so I couldn't be bothered to... (:

Quite scary cause the company looked like a ghost town today.. so few patients. Tomorrow should be busy though.. I think. Oh shucks. Well but at least adabelle will be back!! so I'm not complaining.

I really really want to bring Mel for a walk, he is so lazy! (like me hahah). But I can't find his leash.. :(

2008-10-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of taking leave tomorrow but I don't think I have adequate reasons to so I guess I will go for work (: OMG yeah I'm going for work without adaa am I out of my mind or what :/ I'm just trying to bore myself, yeahhh. On a side note I think I am becoming guai-er (whywhywhy huh)

I was almost planning what I will be doing if I took leave and I actually thought of going to the library (OMG AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME) Its just my desperate attempt in trying to be a little more cultured. Nvm I could always go on Monday :/

Farewell assembly today was quite nice. I thought it felt like a kindergarten concert though! Just that we aren't like, 1m tall or something. (: I'm glad Ms Tan liked the gift that we gave her; and Dr. Wong too, the flown-in-from-London-fake-ABRSM-cert.

Hahaha I counted my weeks wrongly I realised I have a three week piano break! (: Well I guess there are good and bad sides of it.. I'm going to eat yummy ice-cream now okay byebye.

life is such an irony

2008-10-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

Pretty evident - I changed my blogskin.

Life is full of ironies. Anyway, after almost two whole years of deleting the "links" divider in the html ripped off blogskins, I've decided to include links on my blog. Ha ha ha.

There's farewell assembly tomorrow. We've got to sing. Yeah, sing. Gosh. I better go take a good look at my scores the second I'm done with this blog post.Today I realized that I seriously cannot sight-read. Like yes it is pretty depressing. I'm sorry Jas you're gna have to play for the full hour. Or more! Ha ha ha. Either that or you could find me easy primo parts (full of two-hand-play-the-same-note-but-one-octave-apart) and we could kill time together.

I'm going to flunk music, seriously. Quite a sad case, but we'll see how it turns out. And I was supposed to go dress-hunting tomorrow since I'm no longer going for the zoo thing, but I don't feel like it, somehow. Contemplating whether I should just go out and buy normal clothes to wear. But that means I will have less money in general and I will start feeling unsafe because I'm queer and I like to imagine that I will be stuck at some forsaken place in Singapore/

Guess what folks there is 8 days of internship left. (: And then I will be free! Free-er, at least.

2008-10-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

You've guessed it I have yet to begin on IR :x I will I will do it nownownow after I blog okay.

Oh well I'm gna miss Yiyi! :( She is going back to China, then probably to US which means I will probably not see her ever again! And I probably will do my studies in Singapore.. I think. My parents are olddd and okay lah there really isn't much pull factor to go overseas yet.. maybe in post grad studies? But then who knows about the future. Maybe I will just end up doing it in Singapore again :/ Frog in the well, huh.

Mozart wrote k310 during the time period where his mommy died? No wonder it feels as if its filled with angst and drive (in the left hand chords) and what more, its in a minor key.. And there's Beethoven's tempest, which I ought to try because I won't be a pianist if I have not even tried a major, three movement sonata work by this crazy man.

I'm spoilt for choice.. If I were talented I will just play both. But I guess I got to choose 1 by Tuesday and start working on it so when I see her on Monday I will be able to string some notes together (:

Okay Elaine is talking about IR to me now.. I have not much idea what I would say tomorrow. I shall go make some sense out of it now :D So HOT I wna showerrrzzzz

2008-10-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

Ytd we had music majors outing with the chamber people. I had stomachache (or maybe gastric) whatever it is lah since 3pm until..slightly before the end of the meal. Quite bad especially when I stand up. Don't know why. It was the worst stomachache ever even though it was pretty much localised on one side. Maybe ice-cream saves the day.

Oh well INternship is getting boring. Wait it has been boring since a long long time ago.
I have a lot of mosquito bites! I suspect its from my home.. okay I shall be off to replenish my sleep soon but I want to watch tv first.

oh and I need to choose my piece too.. oh my actually come and think about it I have a lot of things to do. I still haven't drafted what I'm going to say, but heck IR is on Monday. I shall try to pack my room if I don't fall asleep before that. (:

AHHHHHH ITS SATURDAY AGAIN TOMORROW. There's tuition, again. What kind of parents kill their kids with tuition three times a week..My dad is the best cuz because of him I get yummy breakfast everyday :D

I am sick, again

2008-10-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

I am sick again third time in what, two weeks?

Or maybe it is just that I haven't recovered, but that makes my sickness pretty long.. I hope I'm not a HIV positive person cause right now all I know is that my immune system is like very, very low. I have got a blocked ear and a sore throat and.. a lot of mucous - my macrophages must be really busy (sorry!)

Anyway, I am supposed to be doing IR Discussion now, so well I better hurry up and start doing it.

I got back results on Tuesday, math and bio. I guess they were okay (nothing fantastic/anything to be proud of though), considering we only started on biology at 2pm? the previous day (honestly I think I started at about 3.30pm though) because before that I was just, stoning, and nothing quite went in. I must say I am just thankful for having Tham as my teacher because it makes the learning process a whole lot easier. (:

I need to start to look for prom dress! A lot of people have gotten theirs already but I have not even started looking for one! I guess its time to I will probably start looking next week after IR is over (besides guess what I have a 2 week piano break! YAHOOOOOOOOO!)

OK great I ran out of flu medicine at home. Off to draft my script!

shadows are the bane of my life

2008-10-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

I hate shadows
I see them everywhere though
Its kind of repulsive, it makes me wna puke just spotting similarities

I miss people with that tinge of personality.

Gosh, its nerve-wrecking that my vocabulary is just limited to that. Disgusting, absolutely. I wish I could be more positive about this but its just a.. pet peeve. One of my manymany petpeeves, you can say.

random musings

2008-10-03T04:07:00.000-07:00

HA I think my tolerance level is getting higher. Its good because
(a) people don't really know when I am pissed (I should contain the anger and smile more)
(b) I... get angry lesser nowadays I just kind of accept that people are this/that way because their frequency is just different from mine
(c) I figured the more I talk the more I will irritate them and myself further

Its either that or I probably have lower expectations of the people I hang around with over time its like a.. decreasing exponential curve (am I making sense at all). I guess I'm not but I don't wna frown cause its gna give me (and you) wrinkles so smile smile smile smile 24/7 ergh BOTOX :D I just hope I don't end up with no character though its a fine line between civil and fake ): But as of now I guess I just need to learn to be civil (:

house bunny with laine and jas today! At GCathay (my..third time there lol) ergh those perverted ac boys were watching too... :/ ergh but it was a funny movie and the company was good too (:

And I swear I won't talk much about music anymore here (I can never put it properly in words anyway) and well the last thing I want is to hear someone saying my thoughts as if it were theirs. I'm kidding I have no idea what I'm saying even

The crankiness after eating panadol Cold! :( ok I'm off wish me luck folks I'm digging my own grave.

the recital series

2008-09-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

It's finally over (: I enjoyed every single one of the recitals because I know that all the music majors have put in a lot of effort into their recitals and it was great that everything went so smoothly (: I hope everyone did well enough..

I'm tired so maybe I should just go to sleep!

2008-09-04T06:23:00.000-07:00

I feel like a directionless blob of matter its boring, day in day out. If I could compose and see chords and notes in my head without jotting them down, I will want to compose one minipiece/week that I'm there, staring into a depression; a sea of red. I will want to turn the screeches and squeaks that I hear into 'taogays' just to make sure that my brain is still working. I can't help but complain that it is a 'waste of time' like three times a day but its..a reflex action when there is hardly anything to do trust me I do try to find things to do. I hate this what the fuck am I doing to my life.

The least I can do is make people around me happy! That shall happen tomorrow Eunice shall not PMS (: How I wish I could burn the whole building down. Boo.

I'm BOREDDD

2008-08-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

I am blogging because.. I am bored.

I was stuck at home almost the entire day..and all I did was 1 IRP. But hey, now I have one less overdue IRP to complete, HURRAYYY. During the 1h20min convo (my ears were burning) with Jas just now I was reminded that there was Math Journal to complete. Grrrrrrr. I have no intentions to begin doing it anytime soon cause my notes are pretty much blank/written in a foreign handwriting. Mommy is going for surgery tomorrow for frozen shoulder, so I suppose I will be at SGH at noon.. I hope everything goes alright.

And I am feeling a little hungry nowww but, I'm lazy to brush my teeth AGAIN so off to bed I go. ):

2008-08-29T03:06:00.000-07:00

Went back to ny today! Nanyang smells the same as ever its cozy! Saw Miss Yeo and a few of 204'04 people. (:Yijing grew so tall she's amazingggg :/ HMMM and I talked a bit to Wanrong too and Eunice Lim didn't come apparently cuz qiyiwu went to HC and she just 'rushed to the auditorium' tsktsk what a funny girl. Hohoho Miss Yeo is as skinny as ever she said I looked fatter! ): But I'm not surprised lah the last time she saw me was when I was start of year 3 when I was smaller; & now I'm just a lazy blob of matter! I should get some exercise! (I say only lor I won't even bring myself to run for 2 minutes hahahaha)

Anyway, yesterday adabelle was being the kindest person on earth and she accompanied me to ystcm to watch half a recital, even though she probably found it the most gruelling half and hour ever HAHAHA. We just left after intermission cause it was late and I wasn't intending to stay through the entire recital even though after intermission seemed interesting - schumann and liszt. I just wanted to go home and sleep!

And guess what I am so screwed for chapter 4 > math I never felt so lost I didn't even copy my notes, Jasmine helped me copy the bulk of it before we got separated and I just.. didn't bother copying at all. I will copy it from someone some day.. I hope. And I have 2 overdue IRPs that I do NOT intend to do anytime soon.

Jasmine and Elaine will be going to Bekok tomorrow. Have a safe trip! <3>I hope none of you will fall into the water! (:

2008-08-27T03:45:00.001-07:00

I'm starting to get sick of lessons.

The same thing happens every single freaking week. I'm sick of diminishing apprehension in the air, I'm sick of the feeling of disappointment each time; I'm sick of the pieces I'm playing. It feels like one year ago again, only that this time, there isn't a reason why I should be sick of it, because I'm not prepared, at all.

2008-08-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Went to catch the fireworks just now near raffles place! It was magnificent! And it was raining all the way, after the fireworks started it rained even heavier, but the rain was still quite light in general. And, the after effects of too much fireworks! I think its pollution.

Sunset for dinner, at 'Orient. I should go to that place after school for often, it seems like a great hangout and maybe I can bring Caramel for a drink there too; its really pet friendly. Okay its time to sleep. Once again, I have cleverly wasted a day away my brains are slowly rotting away..

no talent!

2008-08-15T04:08:00.000-07:00

Gahhh Eunice is not talented at dental assisting!

Ooooohooo cricricriii I'm such a mediocre kiddd booohooooo. I wish I were better at this, but I guess not anyway I'm still undecided over whether this should take priority over other stuff. But I guess I'm messing up too much (and working outrageously slow and in the process pissing countless dentists off) so I suppose someone else will have to decide for me?!

YAWNNNN DADDDY WILL FETCH ME HOME LATER YAYYY NO MORE MRTs.

back to the olden days

2008-08-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

I never knew Bach sounded like that. Now I am appalled, what a great composer he is! Gosh hearing it made me choke, literally. got to remember to breathe out. Lol I'm such a loser right my body doesn't do involuntary stuff anymore.. Tom is Wednesday again! Let's hope Eunice does not screw up! Gah.. Oh well at least Dr. Wong is our internship mentor, she will be so delighted to see Dr. Goh's cool violin collection man!! HAha

Aaaaaaaah this is ridiculous, how can he compose such romantic pieces its unbelievable.

2008-08-07T04:41:00.000-07:00

Pissifying. He can't even extend the deadline for 10 hours! ): Ridiculous. Its not as if it is not on the same day lah, how rigid can someone get. I'm angry. And to think that we have to hand in weekly reports on time, and pay attention in class else we will get called. And other classes have free periods to do their assignments. So frustrating. I give up. Plus its so hard to stay awake during his class cause everyone has to strain their ears to listen to him. And nothing comes to my head at the end of the 1 hour lesson I feel as if I have learnt..nothing. What a total waste of time.

But well that of course what's troubling me the most now. I mean its just, English. Not like I think much about it anyway. I just needed an outlet to gossip about rigidity in the classroom.

I'm a little scared after what has happened on Tuesday. Describing it as 'horrible' is truly an understatement.

Back to the assignment, I guess I will just do it. And hand it in and hope that he will leave me alone in class to daydream about mundane stuff in life and quit asking me questions from the handouts cause I don't read them. Waste paper man.

When $$ is not enough :/

2008-08-01T00:53:00.000-07:00

I should start saving! ): My money is running too quickly for my liking. I probably have sufficient to last till the end of the month, but it will be just right and that feeling suckssss. ):

The run was this morning! I guess I'm quite happy with my timing even though I don't know what it exactly is. It should be okay. After 7 months of strictly no exercise with the exception of PE (what dance for the first half of the year?) I think I would consider my timing today to be.. okay! (: I hope. Whatever lah anyway incline will just own me, so technically I can just screw everything up heheheh.

And something terrible has happened. OH well, lets see how things proceed. I shall start saving, nevertheless. (:

2008-07-29T03:09:00.000-07:00

Today was such a hectic day! Lazy to go into details!But it was an okay day except for music lesson, which Jas and I were so late for (in retrospect I feel so bad) & some more I screwed up for the on the spot stuff.. I guess I just have no talent boohoo.

Elaine's cake.. We decorated it, nanos, jas and me. Maybe when I'm free I'll post the picture here. But I'm lazy lah. ): Oh wells Elaine I hope you recover soon okay.

Guess what folks its Wednesday tomorrow, again! Oh no, HEHEH I hope I don't screw up man! Maybe one month into this we should ask to be transfered to HR/management just for the fun of it and so that we won't be sick of what we're doing! (That is if they don't throw me there even before that cause I screw up too much HAHAHAHA) Then switch back to the normal work again!

I slept on the bus on the way back! Was really tired swear its cuz of the sun and the heat. Haiz I need to shower. My email inbox is cluttered with unwanted/silly emails and those that I'm waiting for just don't come. ):

MY DOG WENT FOR A SHAVEEEEE! KUU.

2008-07-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

I guess its all that has accumulated in the past weeks I just came home, screamed at my mom (who, thankfully did not say much) sat in my room and cried. Mel came in and all dirty from playing for once I'm not complaining about his presence in my room.

Whatever. I hate my aunt whom I saw on the way back, I hate my life the way it is now. I hate the fact that I can't do what I would like to be doing 3 days a week. I hate coming back home wanting to do simple stuff like, bake only to feel so drained by not doing anything the whole day. I hate standing in the lab having absolutely nothing to do, or trying to find something to do in order not to feel like a bloody sessile creature. I hate having to take the initiative but when I actually do, all I can do is just stand and watch, or try to suck and screw patients up basically. I hate that fact that when I tried to open that anatomy book today, I knew less than 5% of those words in there.

Most importantly I hate to disappoint. I don't want you all to get angry with me I hate the look on your face when something odd arises out of the blue the flinch in the reflection the look of despair

the desperate words of encouragement that spill out unknowingly (only said because that's what they said in college, probably)

All I need now is a big teddy bear that Joanne promised to buy me, long long time ago.

2008-07-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Jas-ci-meen!

Upon realization that I won't have a weekend for two weeks in August (Sat morning is gone for obvious reasons, and IR on sunday), I'm feeling a little depressed. -__- C'est la vie! I will get through this yawnnnnn.
(:

my heart beats again

2008-07-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

School is stifling and boring at the same time. I'm tired but I don't want to sleep! Today was not too bad nevertheless, better than I had expected it to be. (:

On a gloomier note, there are times like now that I feel so helpless I have no idea what to do. Its like vandalizing on a pristine clean wall and only realizing the consequences when its too late.. I can't think of a single soul I can breathe a word about this to, to hold a conversation in a civil manner without breaking down and wallowing in self-pity.

If I were to put my thoughts into a dream, I would envision myself walking in a narrow tunnel, where beams of light peek through the cracks but I would carry on walking and never will there be a true exit. I have the bits and pieces, but how on earth can I piece them together? How?

2008-07-12T00:50:00.000-07:00

Those men are working on the new gate.. finally! And I'll get a good nice gate when I wake up later.. Yay, that is if I nap. My feet are going to cry from all the standing for.. the rest of the months! Poor me, no? Adaa too! Roy can sit cause he will be in the lab most of the time, he's getting pro-er! The second model was sooo much nicer than the first!

Bone rongeurs, apexo, prophy(coffee) jet and blahblahblah the list goes on. HAhaaa in the surgical suction lies mysteries and bloody..gums. And I got pissed today for a while cause people don't throw their own rubbish away! ): Apart from that it was an okay day, finally had lunch at a place that isn't Food Junction :D

..I wonder if its a sign sometimes, for it to appear at such unexpected places.

clue-fool

2008-07-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling somewhat clueless
clueless
clueless

where shall I start ughhhhhhhhhhh ):
I'm scared sad slack

ABRACADABRA
"DING!!"

*jumps into the pond*

PS. you know you think of insects to much when you start counting the number of segments the caterpillar has on the cartoon-y wallpaper.

2008-06-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

Q1: Do you like your present school?
I used to not like it so much in the past… but I realized that I will miss it when I graduate, so yes. I guess I do like my school because if I don’t, my life will be horribly miserable.

Q2: What do you want the most now?
I want my joint aches to disappear.

Q3: If you are gonna die tomorrow what do you want to do most?
Meet up with all my friends and family and tell them that they are the best I can have. Oh, and that I don’t want to be cremated! :/ No idea. I don’t think very far.

Q4: Do you hate your friends sometimes?
No. If I hated them they won’t be my friend. They would be my acquaintance, schoolmate, maybe. Not that I actually hate many people. I can’t even think of names offhand. I guess I hardly hate now, I used to! Then I realized that hating people makes no one happy.

Q5: Are you afraid of death?

A little. I just hope I die peacefully and painlessly.

Q6: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes, maybe…

Q7: Do you believe in eternal love?
I would boldly presume it exists.

Q8: Do you think boyfriends are a necessity?
For me? Or for people in general. I guess there are people who can live single all their life and still be very happy.

Q9: What do you enjoy doing the most?
It’ll be long to list. I’m superstitious and secretive.

Q10: Have you ever done anything for your admirer?
I don’t think so…

Q11: What feeling do you hate most?
When I say something I don’t mean, but it is just my initial reaction. That feeling of wanting to take those words back, or being in a situation where if given another choice, I will do something absolutely different. You can say regret.

Q12: Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yes. But I’m not that type of person who shows my affection for anyone e.g. ‘I love you XXX’ so don’t expect that. I’m quite traditional, yes.

I hardly did in the past and took everything for granted, which I regretted for a while, but that’s all history and we can’t change that.

Q13: What is your goal this year?
Yearly goals? Madness. I won’t even remember it at the end of the year! But it is probably something like live everyday happy or something along those lines. I guess at this day and age, everyone is over those materialistic goals.

Q14. Who would you probably spend the rest of your life with?
People I like talking to? Of course that includes my family/

Q15: What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
The people around me. And to constantly have something to look forward to. Of course this something varies from time to time.

Q16: Do you find life meaningless?
No way.

Q17: What do you live for?
Happiness.

Q18: Who do you talk most to in school?
voice inside my head.

People I sit with in the morning…

Q19: What are you listening to now?
Mommy nagging

Q20: What would you say to a peanut?
In 2 seconds you’ll be in my stomach Ha ha ha

Q21: What holiday homework do you have left?
Personal statement and achievements. Which happens t be the only homework Haha.

teachers,teachers.

2008-06-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

I really should be sleeping.
Except that I read brittany's post and I decided to write something on my yucky blog.

I never felt that teachers were powerful enough to make or break a student's life. I don't mean in a melodramatic suicidal manner but in a slightly abstract form. Interpret it in anyway you wish to.

Honestly, I think teachers need to be confident of what they are teaching or advocating. More importantly, they should not be teaching their students in a specific manner just because that formula guarantees instant success, high test scores and… you get my point. It sounds cliché, but it doesn’t take deep thoughts to unveil the underlying principle behind the previous statement.

Teachers who teach for results will be pretty disheartened to know that they are disposable in a student’s life. Result-oriented teachers are there just to accelerate and facilitate a student’s learning. If you learn Biology, you would probably have come across the word enzymes, which catalyzes reactions. R-teachers are just like enzymes, they speed up the learning process of students, but that’s just it. Without enzymes, (except in disgusting cases which will not support my argument so just throw those cases away for the time being), these reactions proceed, albeit at the much slower pace.

Teachers who teach for the process, keeping each individual student’s personal development as a human in mind VS an equation churning machine, will find their jobs less mundane in general, (I would think). If all goes well and they successfully manage to inspire a small group of kids while slogging at work, they would have completed their job so well; in a way that no Barron’s/Kaplan Cram Book can. The results that these teachers reap will be that of long-term, the student learns skills that she/he will be able to apply for life. The student will look forward to school everyday. Of course, students of these P-teachers may not be able to reach their full potential such a short span of time, but that shouldn’t be a main concern.

I have never thought this much about teaching. Gosh, do I sound like I intend to make education as a possible career choice? Let’s just say I’m blessed to meet a teacher who makes my life a tad more meaningful. And because I’m superstitious, I will leave it as that.

Some mini-episode that happened today for the brief period of time reminded me that teachers are humans, they have times where they blurt out stuff that they don’t mean to say. Like us, they probably wished they could take their words back every now and then, so when they piss us off maybe we could just give them the benefit of the doubt. After all it was probably a long day at work.

2008-06-26T19:03:00.000-07:00

My Mondays are going to be such a killer. They're going to be terribly long. Cello class will be in the evening after school, and cello classes haven't been good since Vivaldi, which has been a long time. And at 8 am the next morning on Tuesday I have music class, which is basically like a musical version of the English Lessons last semester. Stuff that involves speaking/singing in public just scares the hell out of me. Plus, its in the morning. My brain can't work in the morning! The last lesson I just spaced out. Like literally, unknowingly and unintentionally. And we get pop questions that are just thrown at you out of the blue -.- that isn't quite good when you're in lalaland. Because the answers that I give are going to be horribly silly. And Dr Wong was talking about individual aptitude. Gosh, you can just measure mine with a nanometer or a picometer (does it even exist)

Anyway, I'm going grocery shopping later. Hurrays. But on the not so nice side, I have lots of writing to do like personal statement and achievements (which isn't much lah) but still :/

HAIZ

skirts are the bane of my life

2008-06-26T02:46:00.000-07:00

Finally, Daddy was free to pick me up from class. I never felt so blessed in like gosh, 2 months? Absolutely hate squeezing into trains during peak hour. Yucks.

AND, why do all my teachers have some problem with me wearing shorts to class :/ First it was Miss Teo and now its Dr Lee. Please skirts are so difficult to walk in, much less SIT in. Ah well. Singapore is so horribly hot (note the alliteration) Maybe if I had killer legs they won't mind HAHA speaking of which, I haven't exercised in ages..

$20 a day! And I thought I would have to scrimp and save, guess not! Yayness *grins* Cheap labor, my Dad complains. Just hope I don't bring them more trouble :/ given how often I zone out and slip into daydreaming mode..

And now I fully understand why she washed her hands off the monotones. The possibility of being letdown by another would be terribly high, won't it!

pick a pea

2008-06-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

I have an ulcer the size of a green pea on my lip, which is really disturbing. The thing that I have to complain about: not having classes tmr but forced to report to school at 7.40AM, when the talk is at 10AM. My school is fantabulous its the bezz seriously.

There's actually something else that bothers me quite a lot but it makes no sense to write it here, explicitly. I don't know if I'm pissed with myself or what. I find this entire fiasco disgusting, degrading (to the subject matter) and gosh I never knew I would ever use this word, but somewhat depressing. Can't everybody just do what they fancy, think simple, mind their own business and get on with life?

On a side note, there will be better days to come, once my wings become strong.

Or so I believe. *QUACK*

as I tiptoed down the stairs..

2008-06-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

I clicked open the Bengay cream bottle and plop! gone are the days where my table smell vaguely of musky wood. Its menthol goodness for the next few weeks, I reckon. My fingers are aching again. This time, its the tendons. I google-d it and found out that it could be something called the trigger finger-

Often painful, trigger finger is caused by a narrowing of the sheath that surrounds the tendon in the affected finger... its also more common in women than in men, and in anyone with diabetes.

And now I'm cursing myself for eating so much sugar.
And I'm getting worried, because its on the right hand.
And I'm getting pissed because I can't find Arcoxia at home.

By the way, I caught Kungfu Panda yesterday with the folks, it really tickled me. And today there's a block party downstairs, so we decided to join in the fun. The Magic Show was pretty funny, and so were mingling around with the neighbors. There was a little Caucasian boy called Aaron, among many other Cute Children.

Suzie has 唐新风暴 on her com, so I shall get off here and watch it now!

Do you believe in horoscopes?

2008-06-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

The holidays are technically over. The sun in June kills, and I wonder what is it like to skip a semester of school to travel around the world with strangers. Knowing that I will be living a routine life for the next 6 months, and not being able to do anything about it sucks. Optimistic, positive!

2008-06-19T07:31:00.000-07:00

This is dangerous. Once again, I'm feeling drained. Didn't even do much today at all. A futile trip to NUS, that's about it. School's about to start it would be best if I won't sulk on the first day of school. How I wish I could get back the energy I once possessed last Monday.

Well anyway, Starbucks beckons. I need good coffee tomorrow during lunch so I'm actually very, extremely willing to help to buy food back from Holland V or something, where some decent coffee place actually exists. I HATE THE LOCATION OF SKU I don't even want school to start the holidays officially ends tomorrow and guess what I'm going to be back in school. wowwowwow.

2008-06-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

Today was a horribly futile trip. FROGGIES here I come!

It was a good day for talking nevertheless. Talked non-stop to Jasmine on the way there and back. I estimate: 8 hours++ And it wasn't exactly random (although at some points yes) but it was good talk, in my \worthless/ opinion. Not surprisingly, we had fast food for lunch again :/ Its the gross things that make yummy food appear more tempting, so I'm not complaining. Ivin's for dinner with Jasmine, after a uninvited visit to the twins' place! (:

Dinner was deliciously filling. I am no doubt satisfied & happy, but a filled stomach makes two human beans myopic. We missed 154 twiceee & they were soo empty.

Axel is the cutest boy on earth.

It was a great day in general, despite not being able to get anything done :/ Its unforseen circumstances & really its nobody's fault so there's nothing to whine about.. turbulence!

And I just remembered that I was supposed to meet Jin on Friday to return tupperwares & some utensils to him. Unfortunately I have a meet up in school GRR so notes to self: text to apologise fix a day to replace Friday's.

2008-06-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

这种快乐不是物质可换取的
是幸福，所以快乐。

2008-06-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

I can't believe this I actually watched some fangirl drama - Hana Kimi, the Japanese version (duh) Eunice-hates-Taiwanese-films. Oh my it has taken a toll on my sleep and the way I think/visualise (more graphic than ever!) This is dangerous because its 2.20 in the morning and I am not tired :/

And I'm supposed to wake up early tomorrow grrrrrr.

MY ROOM IS SO FRIGGIN WARMMMMMMMMMM :(

the bag of sand

2008-06-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

Imagine opening the house gate one morning and seeing a stack of tiles outside your door. Look right and you see two bags of cement. The flower pots are gone, no more aloe vera forever and ever. YES goodness gracious, its the time of the year for the renovation of the good old corridor (I mean business when I say old, its older than I am!) For those that are ignorant, my dear sister is getting married this November. My parents being last-minute people (like me; its in the genes) have cleverly decided to add a nice gate, good tiles just for THAT day. And for that, the family (minus Dad cause he will be at work) will have to endure a week of noisy construction 'oh poor Mel, he's gna turn deaf'

Great, like last December was not enough. Horror horror then, but the kitchen was the best I could ask for. Building an extra gate outside will be good for Mel too, he can stare at the Indian neighbor for as long as he fancies now! AND, theres a chance that we can leave the wooden door and the inner gate open in the day, air ventilation heee haaaw!

HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY YOUR THE BEZZ

I miss Australia esp the month that we stayed with my sister and spent 49825u89560945 dollars on Christmas presents, gifts gifts and more gifts, trips to the beach, mountains, zoos, parks blahblahblah. & so I'm pretty unhappy that I'm probably fated to be stuck in NUS and not fly off to somewhere cool with four seasons and stores that sell REAL yoghurt drinks, almond milkshakes and drinkable coffee on every street.

BTW I can't believe we can only get drinkable yoghurt drinks in Cold Storage nowadays. Whats this world (Singapore) coming to! They only have the most disgusting MARIG*LD synthetic yoghurt drinks in convenient stores. I'm a little angry and upset. ROAR GIVE ME MY YOGHURT. real yoghurt.

In a land far far away

2008-06-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

I'm back from Korea! I swear I will never never ever ever take night flights anymore, even if that "saves some day time". Heck, can't sleep properly at night in the plane cause the air is really dry and my nose threatens to break apart. Well anyway, the trip was the best I could ask for! The food was good, the lodging was good, the people were nice and interesting and the weather was good too. And the tour guide was really funny as well. (& I didn't know I was going on a tour until like, the day before) -.-

We went to Everland and Lotte for the theme parks, Nami Island where winter sonata was filmed, Kimchi factory, Ginseng shop, Jewel shops, Palaces, the ski resorts (in summer yesss -.-) & maybe one more place that I cannot remember off hand. Everland was nice, but I don't really like their characters.. Disney is still better! Safari was great though! The bears are absolutely kawaiii! And the lions, I really want to hug one in my lifetime, guess I will settle for a life-sized stuffed animal.

I think the next time I go Korea I may just stay for a few nights in the Lotte hotel. There's a 11-storey high mall there that apparently sells pretty stuff. Nami Island was quite pretty. There are huge statues there that we took pictures with, (for fun) and strange dubious but yummy ice creams! Kimchi factory was the place that we could wear korean traditional costumes while Ginseng factory was the place where basically the folks got cheated of their money. Seriously. This man in my tour group bought 6k worth of ginseng?! The biggest problem is people will forget to eat it! And just leave it at a side of the house and.. throw it away when the time comes. Palaces were quite amusing, cause we were imagining how those princesses actually walked from one end to the other in their bulky costumes. At the ski resort each pair had two rooms, one kitchen and a little dining table to stay in. It was really big and comfortable. Earlier in the day we plucked fruits from the garden uphill and with the kitchen around.. let's just say Daddy bear was absolutely elated.

And we had spa too! And facial. Gosh I can't stand hardcore selling. Its absolutely disgusting esp at the jewellery and cosmetics shops!

The people were really nice. I'll name them just for remembrance sake:
Meihan, Teacher 2, Celine, Grace (her mom), Mimi (lawl), Jackson, fitness instructor, Jason, fitness instructors mom, FI's uncle, FI's aunt, tour guide Eason.

There are 2 teachers (not counting Mom and Dad), a piano teacher, a fitness instructor & quite a few old but really really still going strong folks. It a small group but everyone was really different in general. Amusing, interesting & enlightening. The tour guide is this chinese guy who grew up in Korea and practically flunked his way through university where he spent 7 years studying his degree (in Taiwan) and somehow married a super pretty Taiwanese woman. She's really pretty! Cause she visited him and helped him with the luggage on the second last day and we were like 'no wonder others think she's your mistress!' She looks really young.

Actually I quite like family trips, save it for my parents being jerks at some point of time. Its not really the money or what, cause now I'm more for 'culture food weather people' than 'shoppingshoppingshopping' which can be done in Singapore. If not for the sudden change in weather, I won't mind staying there for another week! (:

Okay byebye. I'm so not used to waking up and finding myself in my room! I'll get used to it.

shadows shadows everywhere

2008-06-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

It is a two dimensional object, devoid of true emotions; a reflection of a true being. When the sunsets it elongates, undergo metamorphosis - but only physically. A vacuum lies in there; empty

Once upon a time, she was still human.

2008-06-04T03:44:00.000-07:00

"being a vegetarian is so troublesome" -Elaine Teo

Pizza hut today for lunch. Well anyway, I don't really feel sorry for animals nowadays being killed for food anymore. I see it as part and parcel of life I mean after seeing how gross frogs can be, I don't mind killing all of them and cooking it for my family to eat. I'm kidding. I guess the world has more things that needs our attention, more than animals being killed..For example: world poverty. Omg this sounds so Miss Singapore. Sick. But seriously. So maybe now you can say I'm eating less meat (less because I still do drink soup that my dad cooks & he obviously adds cuttlefish into them sometimes) - in a desperate attempt to aid in world poverty cause animals take up so much more resources to rear. And that money/space/resources that you use to rear them can be used to grow more plants that can feed more people & hence feed the malnutritioned. Feel like some geek. Off to watch television!

I feel like giving up

2008-06-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

but I won't.

Only the following items should be considered to be grave faults: not respecting another's rights;allowing oneself to be paralysed by fear; feeling guilty; believing that one does not deserve the good or ill that happens in one's life; being a coward.
Paulo Coelho

I shall cease screaming..

2008-05-31T07:17:00.000-07:00

Bekok trip today. Really tiring. I think the lack of sleep kills my appetite, too. Didn't feel like moving at all and I was pissed at the beginning cause the mesh size was evidently too big. Which I shouldn't have because.. I don't know, I just felt that I was being too "I-want-things-my-way". It happens all the time..& I promise to change but it never happens. Oh well. Either way, we were really missing out on stuff that we had caught easily in the past, when we were using the small fishing nets then so I got cross &.. impolite to some extent. Didn't help that the net was black and being so blur as I always am, it takes me a while to find those insects.. & stuff didn't go as planned cause we can't really draw a relationship between DO, pH (in disturbed and undisturbed) because we only took readings of the undisturbed site. Guess its not that important cause we're talking about insect diversity here wrt how polluted the waters are.. well but it would be better if we had some findings on shade/DO/pH as well, won't it!

But it was fun trying to plan our own routes through the white waters! Eh, I dunno, it kind of adds flavor to the otherwise boring 'ok, lets go here via ABC route' thing that we've been doing in the past! I don't know if Elaine found it fun though, I didn't think it was fun at that point of time when we were grabbing hold of our dear lives but in retrospect it was quite a thrill, and counting/finding insects pale in comparison. Yeah, I know, the irony! Maybe I should find insects in a more organized manner in future, like from left to right, up to down...

And I got my first leech bite in my life LAWL. They don't hurt, my blisters from wearing new shoes hurt more.

Bus ride back with Jasmine as usual! Talked and talked and talked! (And we tried to see each other through a pathetic small hole. Omg, headache headache.) Wanted to punch that stupid guy blocking my view. But I was feeling kind since afternoon, so I decided to give it a miss. Yes I'm so big I have biceps and triceps

Blunder of the week:
"Do you want to sit here? It's double seat"
-implied meaning: "Do you want to sit here instead while I take your place? It's double seating and you can place your big fat bag here".
LAWL they say "practice makes perfect", i.e. lesser blunders as the years go by. I say, "just get used to it", i.e. more blunders as the years go by, just don't care about it

The blunders for the past two weeks were too embarrassing to be publicly announced. Go me. Maybe ten years later and all wrinkled and still blogging, I will be typing: Blunder of the day Heh let's hope not.

So, I'm pretty worn out. I was supposed to have subway (Again?? omg kill me) for dinner. But I was like Ricericerice all the way and they gave in, so I had late dinner at 'Gone Fishing', a cafe along Hillview. Mushroom soup + Mushroom baked rice + herb sticks w salsa + a sip of almond coffee. No, I didn't have Frogs for dinner. I'm determined to eat them though. I hate them with a passion ):
Croak. BurP

2008-05-30T05:25:00.000-07:00

I'm back. For the past 2 hours since I came home I have been glued to the computer. Shucks. I need to prepare labels. Damn damn I have got no drawing block -.- it has been a while since I used those things. I'll see if I can rip something from my sister's sketch book. :/ Well anyway, I have been hogging the comp cuz:

I saw this fantabulous 6.48min video and I kept on repeating it.
I'm waiting for dinner
I was so awed by the video I started googling, for more.

In short, I'm just useless. Damn. I'm into self-hate now and I'm off to find paper..

until that day arrives.

2008-05-29T22:04:00.000-07:00

You're powerful enough to make me laugh or cry in less than a minute, or even half. It intrigues me to know: What exactly are you made of?

Those were tears of bewilderment. How seamless, this is.. It leaves me puzzled, as always.

-

Suntec with Jin later. I'm not a fan of Suntec, but it has yami yoghurt so I'm not complaining. Yet. Or, we could just settle for a movie and spare my legs some extra work. But I doubt that will happen. Grrrrr.

in an aussie slang..

2008-05-28T19:53:00.000-07:00

she sang:
Kookaburra Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree
Merry merry king of the bush is he
Laugh Kookaburra, laugh Kookaburra
Gay your life must be..

I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset

2008-05-25T16:59:00.000-07:00

"Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it. ~Horace"

Yesterday was such a bad day, I shan't elaborate on it. On a side note, I think my sister is breaking up with her boyfriend. Fabulous because 1) I'm always so unlucky to accidentally hear this type of thing 2) He hasn't been home for a week, and soon my parents will start to question 3) He's a real nuthead so I've no idea how I should feel about this. Politically correct thought: for my sister not to dump him and well everyone could live happily ever after and maybe my sister won't seem like such a slut. Anyway thats beyond my control, so really its kind of none of my business too, literally.

-
Saturday - had the Farewell Party. It was quite fun, and I guess I would pretty much miss seeing those faces! There was such a great diversity that I would never ever see in Singapore schools, unless I enroll myself into an international school or something :/ It feels as if everyone had a place to belong, for there were so many different kinds of personalities in the room. Wonder if schools in other countries are like that too.

I think someone (high up in the parliament) should start finding a solution to breeding a whole country of clones (with a little mutation here and there) instead of harping on Singapore's lack of cultural identity. I mean, we can't really do much if there really ain't any culture to begin with.. unless we create a culture now, and try to fool our children that we actually do have a culture unique to our country, which would be kind of silly won't it. What, the Merlion? Some fictionary character, peace.

2008-05-23T03:56:00.000-07:00

If I had the means and the talent, armed with a paintbrush I shall coat the canvas with colors that resemble the sunset. Crimson red, azure blue. Yellow green trees and black mynas.. Traveling clouds. I haven't seen the sunset in ages; which explains why I am peculiarly enchanted by it today.

In our relentless pursuit for happiness, we unhesitatingly fight to change the situation we are in now. Why is changing ourselves always the last option?

independent I will be..

2008-05-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

Reach school at 6:30am tomorrow?! Just kill me. But, I will try, to reach at maybe..6:45am? There's not much point in reaching on the dot, anyway how many people will be there? 6:45 I must try! it will be such an accomplishment.. My blogposts are terrifyingly mundane. I'm happy with how I deal with silly matters though, this year has been better in this aspect. Stay happy everyone! :D

just to see the sunrise

2008-05-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

In order to prove to myself that I can actually be early for school, I'm sleeping 3 hrs in the afternoon upon reaching home, waking up for dinner and watching tv till 11:30pm and sleep till 5:45am, shower and get out of my house in 60mins. I'm hoping that I will get to see the sunrise tomorrow, figuratively and literally.. I shall go off to watch my show now

Get well soon adabelle!! I hope the next time I see you you're cheery & in the pink of health! (:

2008-05-20T05:26:00.000-07:00

the toads are out
animals misbehave
signs a student would have
easily
recognized Yet
overlooked by world's
greatest minds.

2008-05-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

A pen isn’t enough.

Paper won’t suffice when

no one bothers to read the

words that line those pages.

This is devastating, I can't wait to get out of school find new company. Shadows, shadows, don't you see them? Ironic, as usual. Sometimes I wonder how people can actually stand it, isn't it aggravating to see/hear all those words, actions appearing just like it has, on some other being once? I cringe at the thought, but sadly I've proven myself victim and therefore guilty. Oh gosh. Another one of these mind-boggling thoughts will seriously send me downtown with a party hat on.

On a side note, I got new shoes yesterday. Finally. Shoes, shoes, shoes. Time to throw those old ones out of the house. Most of them are still working good, but not like I'll wear them anymore so I better get them out for the good of the Cambodians? Indonesians? or maybe, fellow Singaporeans. I have decided not to spend too much on clothes this half a year, but first I must clear my closet cause its dying. There are just too many pieces of clothings that I don't want to wear anymore.. and I need to repaint my room. I think I will paint it lilac white and draw a line of..pink?blue? right smack in the middle, across the room.

And, I'm thinking of signing up for art classes. Drawing, I mean. Suggestions?

Kbox ytd with the folks, then sumptuous food at viv's place. Enchanted and mahjong don't go well. Enchanted wins, handsdown. (:

2008-05-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

Its family day tomorrow! Sunday again. Favorite day of the week this week, I must say. I think I'm going to get new shoes! Buh-bye to my crystal studded shoes, I love you so much and on behalf of my stinky feet, thank you for keeping me warm and..safe from the millipedes when I walk on the grass, and the sandy sandy netball court! its 11:47pm now, its so obvious Eunice is.. Half asleep. I would settle for a cheaper pair this time, since its going to be only half a year left, then I'll probably bid farewell to my new pair of shoes cause.. I'm sessile, I don't go around in tennis/track shoes i.e. don't exercise. Suzie is returning from Bangkok today! Seems like we can't go Korea cuz Mom says theres some flu outbreak there, wonder where we will end up going? Either way, it should be a fun trip cuz Suzie is tagging along this time. Mel just went to the groomers and returned home.. botak. (: Must be quite comfortable for Singapore's humid weather! My life is a bore. But today was just a for myself day I turned my parents down for dinner cause, I dunno. Aiyah its family day tmr lah so I'm not feeling bad about it (:

Apparently, my mentor has some..infection. Dunno, hope she gets well soon since it sounds quite..serious. (:

at the mouth of the river

2008-05-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was kind of the end of the semester. This week was a fine one, but so many things happened I can't really remember all! I guess its mainly Sentosa, Games Day, some good principal talks yup. Did I post on Sentosa? Can't remember, but it was moderately fun, mrt trips with the nanos are the bestest (: They're really cute and cute and cute & my vocabulary is just limited yeah? Games Day was fun, not as competitive as the previous years, oh I'm thankful! The team I was playing in was quite nice too! funfun. And the talks. Guess no one really bothered listening to the whoever, but some how I guess I was too bored, I actually started listening. After all, that guy was talking sense and it made sense to listen to someone who was wiser than probably, anyone else in the room. Lol. Its just me being pro-elitism.

I'm not looking forward to next week, which will be a busy one, but I declared myself a well-deserved break (not very but anyway) yesterday. So I had went to coffee club with Jas after school. Guess I haven't been working as hard as I ought to for the semester, so I cannot really say that this break is well-deserved. But my grades are decent enough, even though I'm still depressed at the lack of A+ in my transcript.. Anyway. Came home and watched 4 hours of TV straight. My thirsty hippo is running out fast, the moisture level in my room is appalling. So Dad bought the mega version, but I can't really fit it anywhere, so its resting on my chair beside my bed now.

I want to shower right nownownow but I'm going off at 1.30, and if I shower now, there's a high chance that I will shower later again, which according to some of my friends, is a waste of time. And more importantly, I really dislike the feeling of feeling-so-clean-my-skin-is-going-to-tear-apart thing.

its confession time

2008-05-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

I feel it slipping through my fingers,
again I can't understand
what is so tough about it, breaking
this glass ceiling-

Those watchful eyes that hides all
frustrations, anger, disappointment?
Shredding bits of hope into pieces
faster than any office machine shattering
whats left of a broken heart.

And like loose pieces of a
jigsaw puzzle it will be put together
one day, a picture of hope.

Your words I will remember and
I will try to live by it each day, every hour.

the dark side of life

2008-05-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

Now this is disturbing. He's fifteen and he's mom is slipping away due to terminal stage liver cancer. I guess life IS unfair and I totally cried reading the latest post. Which was, rather melodramatic. Well btw, I'm not those people who cry in every episode of korean dramas. & he doesn't even know me, neither do I know him but its just those random blogs that you read because one post intrigued you to such a great extent and thereafter you keep on clicking on the link in the address bar. Its just sad, that his mother won't be able to see her son's big accomplishments, or maybe, she'll be watching over him from up there (:

on a side note, i need to do my grades justice next sem.

when the sun sets..

2008-05-09T03:50:00.000-07:00

When the sun sets
crimson red, the sky
dyed by an old blushing
man-- the fun arrives
gradually-- like how
those wrinkles show
on faces so familiar

ts torturous to pull yourself out of bed early in the morning. SO.. I was late for class this morning, this time by HALF AND HOUR omg kill me. So anyway, I was supposed to have lunch with Jas after she played netball but cause I didn't want to get sweaty/sticky/in the sun and I also cause I had a FLU JAB yesterday my arm was like. Aching and friggin heavy. ):

Brought my cheh-low for repairs ytd, turns out there was another sound post in my cello (gracious, where did it come from!) spooky. (: ghost cheh-low. Anyway, I'm so glad that I'm home this early today, means I get to watch TV, and have dinner at home! Yay. I assume Miss Koh is right, and not much can be done at the moment so.. I shall be a good student and listen to my, very very very experienced teacher! ZOMG excuses as usual yay, I decided (just) that I will take whatever that comes in my stride (: Really, it doesn't matter if I'm gonna be stuck in the concrete walls of Kent Ridge, no point graying my hair over such mundane matters!

Anyway, as promised, I'm supposed to advertise for YEO ZHEN ZHI here on my blog. So single females please contact him at mvp_yzz@hotmail.com you can add him on your MSN he will be delighted. LAWL & btw, he thinks he is very very shuai so maybe you will think so too! You never know!

(OMG I'm totally rolling off my chair typing the previous paragraph) Wellllllz.

2008-05-03T04:48:00.000-07:00

Thou shalt not breathe a word about 音乐 anymore -
Its insane, every blog post talks mildly about it.

1. I'm not going to pursue it for good
2. I have a nasty feeling lpm is angry/gave up on me
3. I can no longer fool song that I'm not sight-reading
4. Really, its not such a big part of my life
5. Time ought to be better spent than drowning myself in stuff written, literally, centuries ago.

Sounds like I just gave myself 5 big excuses to slack. AHHH.

最可怕的是, 我根本就不知你心里是想什么. 忽冷忽热, 难道你就是让我摸不着你的底吗?

妈妈总是说, 我小时候很会看风使舵, 如今又怎么..

也许你是我最好的榜样, 最好的模范.

2008-05-02T03:57:00.000-07:00

So.. I didn't have lesson today. AGAIN. I'm going crazy. All these waiting before lesson and then knowing that there isn't lesson only1 hr before kills a lot of brain cells. The next time lpm sees me it would have been three weeks. I confess that I haven't been practicing as much as I'm supposed to. Blame it on school, I would naturally. Except that really, I haven't been doing justice to schoolwork either. Well, Elaine and Ada thinks so, at least (: hohoho

I hope I don't anger my piano teacher the next time I play for her. I'm going to take a huge gamble and play Debussy, won't she be delighted - for this time its voluntary! (I miss the una corda on the Stein) As well as my overdue Mozart 2nd movement that I played for her once? Or twice. But thats pretty safe, its Mozart after all. lpm wants me to the recital < September, so that I can get over and done with it. *ahem* I am not ready, period. I should figure if I want to take Dip. Really, its just a piece of paper, but isn't Singapore all about papers? We'll see how the rec goes.

And yes, I need to bug her to complete the form for Wong. I'm overwhelmed with fear all of a sudden, I'm skeptical about my skills. I haven't played on a grand for two weeks and I'm feeling like I don't know anything about the blackandwhite keys anymore. I never knew, maybe. Or perhaps its just the lack of practice that is making me feel so, wrong. Its so difficult for me to convey in words what I'm feeling right now. It's as if I don't know what is wrong or right, cause she isn't like Teo who is assertive and to some strange extent, a control freak. It makes sense not to impose her style onto me, neither do I want to be a carbon copy of my piano teacher but seriously I need some help cause I feel so directionless & lost.

In short, I just need to have a lesson soon.. But Sunday just isn't the right time. Oh well. Song's lesson tomorrow. Hope I don't scare him with my loud cello and nasty sound Popper. I will try to sneak in some practice in the morning/tonight.

my baby won't need a coffin

2008-05-01T08:17:00.000-07:00

See, I was right and Dr. Wong shouldn't have made it compulsory for all music module students to go for the YST concerts. For the good of the school's image & the sake of serious listeners please don't do this the next Music week! ): It reallyreallyreally brings the school image down, and for once I'm feeling really sick in my stomach that all these happened.Ugh, so apparently all the music-interested-geeks in Singapore knew about how NUS High students spammed the top part of the concert hall and like totally killed the audience, apparently. Thankfully I wasn't sitting upstairs. :/ I would have died. And its so freaking widespread that even that Essentials Guy knew, and he was like asking..are you guys forced to go for concerts? I was like HUH WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT BOZZO
...
I realised what he meant.How unfortunate.. Maybe I won't wear school uniform to music shops anymore :(
What a way to start an otherwise joyous post. I GOT MY VC 305!! And, I springcleaned my room. And, I'm anxious for the month to end. And, I love my parents a lot. And, I hope my Mom's hand won't hurt that much anymore. And, I want to be someone ku so they can be proud of me. And, I really hate Roy, my sister's boyfriend-husband-to-be. And, I just told my Mom today that I don't want him to marry Suzie. And, my Mom got such a nasty shock I swear she didn't know what to say *OMG TV DRAMA MATERIAL* And, I love my Dad a lot too.
So its really quite expensive, but Mom paid for it anyway with a lot of complaints initially. Love her but I will pay her back, by installments-200/month! Even though, with 95% confidence, I can predict that she will just put the money back into my bank account. Even so, I'm determined not to increase my expenditure significantly even though I will earn some income soon *shoo materialismz* I feel so numb somehow MY PARENTS ARE THE BEZZ.♥
***
LPM is a dolphin, TKS is a bear. :D Not surprising really, what high hopes convertconvert! heehaw. Books suckz.

2008-04-29T16:16:00.000-07:00

It was Ben and Jerry's free cone day yesterday. (:
Then after school I went to westmall to help mom get some stuff, and turns out I was back there like two hours later!! For dinner! But in the end we had dinner elsewhere. My parents are fickle.

Sigh Mom may have to do operation on her hand. Its supposedly scheduled to be next Thursday, but she wants to change it cause apparently its during her school exams and she set the paper and blahblahblah, so she's just being pseudo responsible Gah I think she should just do it next week. ):

And she gave me cash to buy clothes! So I quickly bought whatever I wanted to buy and we went for dinner (: & I didn't quarrel with Mom ytd! OMG it feels damn weird our form of communication is through quarrels, largely. So dysfunctional, but it really works better that way.

I'm having troubles blogging, really dunno what to say. My life.. is so boring!!

2008-04-28T07:46:00.000-07:00

Eunice is crossing her fingers!

Omg Orchard is full of weird people after eight. Yikes, I haven't really walked down streets of Orchard Road properly but its just eww tonight. ): Anyway, went essentials today, and I picked the 2007 eastman instead of the 2006. (: I should be settling for that. Eurostring.. Hmm I don't know, not many write-ups, and I trust my eyes>ears sometimes. Gramercy tried to tempt me with hard cases, but I should be visiting essentials by this weekend.

IF ANYONE IS RICH ENOUGH, PLEASEPLEASE GET ME A PINK HARDCASE FOR CELLO. THE CANDY FLOSS YUMMY PINK.

orrrr. YOU could always set up a "buy Eunice a yummy cello case" fund and collect $5 from 100 human beans. ):
BIG SIGH. how I wish I were a millionaire.

2008-04-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

omgz. Like, the cheer blog is updated? Eunice being such a kuku, clicked on the first link on the dashboard and like was almost going to type her emo post when she saw 'red thongs' somewhere on the screen and freaked out. Turns out that Mira posted something along the lines of 'if anyone still visits this blog, I miss cheer' and I'm tempted to tag that I visited the blog! But of course I'm just a silly cow (with many pairs of udders) and I of course will never dare to tag there anymore. Anyway. Yes cow because I went lingerie shopping today! Hurhur. As always, Suzie says that I'm a cow, cause she always sees me going lingerie shopping LIKE of course not, its just that my bras somehow get missing >?? ask my mom man. And it just so happens that I only go bra shopping on Sundays, and she only talks to me on Sundays kinda thing. Okay enough of that.

Visited Gram and Synwin today. Guess there weren't many cellos at synwin, but tried the synwin 5001 and walter-mahr or sth out. Wasn't that fabulous, but I saw Chan's name on a cello and I wonder if he was the one who set it up. Ah well. Nostalgia? Not quite but anyway its good to look back, as usual. I felt so happy when I saw his name somehow (: Like, I suddenly had more faith in a shop I otherwise coin 'dubious'. Somehow. Gram's people knew Song which is bad cuz of course, I'm a bad student who attempted to practice Popper, Squire and Vivaldi while trying cellos out, cause my brain remembers few string pieces. And I mean, practice, not play.

That was the highlight of the day. Came back and slacked around, pretty good lazing around on a Sunday, I figure. Of course, there's classes (Again) tmr, and I just wished Sidwyn good luck cause its their exams tmr, I didn't know that until he told me cause I asked him if Gram has GST included already for instruments! hurhur. I don't know I guess its quite cool sometimes to have musical siblings.

Which reminds me, Elizabeth T's recital on Wednesday. Thought she played better last year.. ): ORRR! It could be that my ears can pick up whats supposed to be 'bad playing' now! OMG of course I hope its the latter, cuz it means that she didn't play worse than before and I probably gained another skill WOOTS. Doubt it though.

I'm tired of skipping piano lessons and going on self-proclaimed breaks. HAH. I'm such a slacker yeh, I played Ravel's Preludes just now for fun. Seems pretty nice, Suzie played it before. I sight-read G5 exam pieces so that I can reassure myself that I'm good enough, but it doesn't seem like it. Ergh. Never mind. Cello lesson on Saturday was so fun. I love Song he makes my day good. On good days of course. Even though I didn't practice this week (actually I did! But we didn't do the 2nd movement in class so it seemed as if I didn't practice) but it was really fun working through the first movement! Yummy. And Popper, Ruhig. Ahem, more TREBLE CLEF on the cello, please just kill me he knew I was sight-reading. HAHA.

Omg I love my parents, they drove me across the island just to view the instruments today. (: moral support>>monetary support, even though the latter is very important, still HAHA. $-FACE Eunice.

2008-04-25T07:19:00.000-07:00

The week has been moderately hectic.
Obviously I have been slacking my life (in the realms of academia) away for the past..4months, my grades are the best representation for these sins I have boldly committed. Scripts were back the last two days, I won't say that I have done extremely badly or whatever because really, what can I expect when I have been so nonchalant about school work since the start of the year? Maybe if I started my life on a pristine clean sheet of paper I will do much better. I should stop kidding myself that school work is not that challenging after all (of course it is!) & that all the work that I put in will be for nothing, (and therefore I should not even bother trying) just because I have done well once or twice (pathetically) in each subject -.-

I haven't done justice to math, obviously. Neither have I for biology. I'm not looking forward to Miss Koh's remarks in my transcript, really. Double As last semester to probably a B+ or if I'm miraculously lucky, a low A this sem sounds terrific, in every sense of the word. Eekz, Eunice oh its time to pull up your ~~socks~~ stockings

Music paper was okay, definitely better than expected. Have a tingling feeling that my CA will pull me down though, but A+ for exam was a pleasant surprise, really. That + actually makes my day seem a little brighter.

On a horrible note to end off, but anyway as usual I'm just very put off by people around me begging for marks like if that few marks weren't granted to them the sky will turn green. For goodness sake for the good of your dignity if there's even any left, please don't put yourself down in a way that makes you look like the salivating puppy begging for Cheese Sticks. Your body deserves better, honestly. But like what Bryan says, maybe its just cause people care about marks more than others, which in my opinion, may not be such a bad thing, after all. But there again, its just me shooting my mouth off and consciously inviting trouble..

~~Yeah, like I care.~~

2008-04-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'm just pissed that some people can get away with stuff that they ought to do & commit themselves to but outrightly don't. Whatever. Rehearsals are so long these days, and not exactly exciting :/ but of course I survived it (albeit with a lot of complaining). Its 1045pm, and I'm tired so I intend to sleep in 10 minutes. *bigyawn*

Went down to essentials with Jas this afternoon (: I saw the 80, 305 and a super high-end one! But the Montag isn't coming till end May, so I will probably wait till then.. I don't mind the Stradi model, but then I just won't feel good buying it without throwing the Montag one look. Thank you Jas for treating poor Eunice to ice-cream from the cheap ice-cream roadside stalls along Orchard! Ugh, I'm so low on cash, I just got my mom to spare me another 10 bucks, but that won't last me till the weekends cuz I'll be out on thursday. ): CRAP nevermind I'll find a way.

Wonder what I will have for lunch tmr, I'm not looking forward to the packed food cuz its just too overwhelming - two nights in a row *eww* I terribly need a break, and I'm going to thank my Dad in advance for that (:

Barely have time for myself, sucks. But after tmr all will be over! I'm not looking forward to Thursday though.. If only someone invented a "skip-a-day" pill! I'll be more than happy to consume it :D

Nights everyone!

this little voice in me

2008-04-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

is this all you could say to me--
am I so unworthy of you?
If so, please pacify my bleeding heart;
only by hearing cold, hard words
can it be stitched up

edit

2008-04-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

YES! I'M DONE WITH THE INTRO AND I'M PRETTY PROUD OF MY WORK LAWLZ ITS REFERENCED!! HEEHAW, and I practically read all the results again to find evidence urgh, wellz Roy is giving me a ride to school, let's hope I won't be late. (: Off to change, its gna be a long day today, go Eunice! (:

byebye.

2008-04-16T02:57:00.000-07:00

Today was great, save for the morning/afternoon that I was supposedly pms-y :( says jasmine. Ah well, my pms obviously came late cuz its the time of the month nowz :x But IR was quite fun still, meddling with insects that are so flimsy, I don't even dare to pick them up between the tweezers I just try to scoop them up. Of course, until the photos were taken (I boldly presume, taken rather nicely) did I throw them back haphazardly into the bottle of stinking alcohol that made them swirl - tipsy they must be! And smart me forgot to bring so many things so we got to meet up again and do it tmr, the curse of the introduction! I should mend my ways and make peace with it by crediting the long list of sources. Bleagh!

After that was Gelare with shushu and jin! (: Yay at first shushu wanted nyny but I was like nooo so Gelare! Got my way again! (: Oh my shushu is such a bundle of joy she made me laugh so hard I got like two laughing fits today! Which is quite a good thing cause I haven't laughed so hard for so so long! Then she had to go meet her parents for some dunno what thing lah! And jin and I had no where to go to cause we were such misers, we decided to walk to raffles place mrt?! cause I was freezing and needed to thaw before getting into the mrt again HEH & I promised not to fall asleep on some stranger's shoulder (cause apparently, according to jin its UNGLAM) and he had to go to visit his granny :/ I hope his gran's alright! (: AND yes, so my eyes were wide open throughout the ride! oh man shushu and jin we must o out more often you people are so funny, and it really makes my day happy and less stressful!

But, the stress will come one day still, so Eunice will face the music soon. But knowing that 100 other people are also facing it makes me feel a little better. Yay one more month people then we're freee! yippeee! :D

I just tagged on elaine's blog LOL :D

2008-04-15T08:52:00.000-07:00

Today was semi fun, but Eunice caught a cold in the morning so it was rather bad! :/ otherwise it was fun! Got up early to watch tv have breakfast, met jin at TM who kindly pei-ed me to changi airport! I got my hershey's sundae & clarityne ($0.85) per tablet :/ but I refuse to take panadol cold relief so yup, then met Jasmine we hung around T3 briefly, marveled at baby toys and I helped Jasmine choose Jolin's present! :] SHE TOOK SOOO LONG. Decided to catch a movie after that so we caught the other boleyn girl at PS. Pity I had a headache throughout the second half of the show, and cause there weren't anyone sitting on the right of me, I just totally sat in the sleeping position for quite a while XD I haven't been to empty cinemas for a longlong time, even the night movies are so friggin' packed. :(

I got my subway after that, came home and watched tv, and I'm going to sleep now! There's IR tomorrow.. at 10! 1hr later than expected, so I guess that means more sleep! I think I will bring change to school tomorrow. I don't want to wear sch uniform after school! :X I just have an awful feeling about saturdays cello lesson, my fingers.. they need to get moving! they're getting softer by the hour/day/whatever, &&& I'm waiting for the IOU to be drafted so I get my 1500$ for good.

I feel like a human again

2008-04-14T01:39:00.000-07:00

The show that I'm watching is so sad! urgh, its about a lawyer whose stepsister betrayed him and gave a false statement that led him to have a criminal record aiyah but there again its just a show. Gosh, for this year's semestrals I barely studied in comparison to the other semesters *smacks head* too late to regret now! (I shan't bawl over it since this blog is named eunicesloves for a reason) I'm just thankful I'm still in one piece. On Saturday I went to j8 for ramen, then haagan daaz for supper! Mango Sorbet is like, delicious *smacks lips*

Sigh, there's IR on Wednesday IN THE MORNING. The crux of the statement is IN THE MORNING *yawns* I'm gna reach school with eyelids half open. Oh well, but its better than school.

JO WAS BEING SO CHEERY YTD

4/13/2008	1:48:47 PM	joanne, it's my BFF's day!	eunice*	c'mon, eunice, con-cen-trate! be motivated and do-mi-nate! don't slack, you've got work to do, don't fret, i'll be cheering for you! <3
4/13/2008	1:48:47 PM	joanne, it's my BFF's day!	eunice*	:D
4/13/2008	1:49:01 PM	eunice*	joanne, it's my BFF's day!	HAHAHAHAHAA
4/13/2008	1:49:04 PM	eunice*	joanne, it's my BFF's day!	:D:D:D:D
4/13/2008	1:49:10 PM	eunice*	joanne, it's my BFF's day!	yes cheerleader
4/13/2008	1:49:12 PM	eunice*	joanne, it's my BFF's day!	lol

I'm going to whip up celebratory feast (wow) to mark such a wonderful occasion! I hope Mom's observation goes fine today! She was totally fretting over it the whole of Sunday & thus the whole family had to suffer, aiyeaiyee. I'm gna save up for a new baby! I'm loving britney spears all over again I feel like a thirteen year old kiddy. (:

I'm gonna tap on your shoulder
I'm from a long time to hold ya
Showin' you that you need a lover
Who can be a smooth, better man
So fine that I'll drive you crazy
That way I'll make you my baby
Dang girl excuse my french
I can't believe how good you look to me
Dang girl excuse my french
I can't believe how good you look to me
~~never knew I meant so much to you now I feel like crap for saying all those things even though it happened eons ago. sorry love.~~

2008-04-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

I'm so screwed! 1 more to go, but it feels like I'm done with everything! Ugh! I haven't touched anything since yesterday's paper, and I have to do sao3mu4 later which is like o.0 okay. ><
And plus I have been eating so much this entire week I'm feeling mildly depressed now. Aiyaah my dog needs a shower! He stinks. Should I go shower him?! Lessons on Thursday! I really think she can't wait for me to finish my rec then she won't have to see me forever and ever XD I'm hopeless lah, I make her angry and pissed most of the time! :X sianz -bangsmyheadonthewall-

Oh well. I should have gone out today! Not like I did anything at home?! I feel so sleepy cause I ate so much. I don't have calli tmr, cause laoshi is going for op? ): I hope he gets well reallyreally soon! I mean, its just a little worrying, even though I really don't know him well.

Do you know the feeling of wanting to do something well so much that you rather not do it than screw it up? Aiya anyway, I'm feeling like that all the time if I had more muscle mass I will just pick up my piano and throw it off the 4th level. Bahh I hate you I'm gna quit being a music major! :/

hedgehog dilemma

2008-04-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking like I always do at random times of the day - on the bus, in the toilet, under the bed etc. and something struck me pretty bad. Hedgehog dilemma is such a terrible thing, cause it so aptly describes some part of me - not being able to trust because I'm such a coward, and really, I should cease calculating risks, live life as it is and stop thinking randomly. It puzzles me to wonder what specific event made me so skeptical about human intimacy, and I still haven't figured. Gracious, why am I even thinking aloud I can't believe that I'm gna post this.

hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is an analogy about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share their heat during cold weather. However, once accomplished, they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills. They must step away from one another. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur for reasons which they cannot avoid.

thats just obviously, copied from wikipedia.

Am I just afraid of showing you my weaknesses and soft spots for fear that you will use that against me one day? But if thats the case, am I not already outrightly displaying my biggest weakness? Or am I just so skeptical that humans are self-centered anyway, so why bother telling others about your not very important life (at least, to them?) I never quite attempted to reach out to anyone in particular. In my hippocampus sits rows and rows of secrets made known to no other soul, classified neatly in rows and columns of chronological order. Turn back the clock a little, I see you and I try to recall if I even trusted you as much as I should. Really I should have, because then I would have been happier, and you would have understood me better, but those days are over & I don't know how I should feel about it.

I remember Aiwei saying (more than once) that I display my emotions really outrightly. I wonder if thats true, because I never thought so. Sure, the more technical emotions - happy, sad, pissed, angry but other than that? My facial muscles are sick of responding in the same distinct manner they have all my life. I honestly did some research in a desperate attempt to find a reason as to why I am so distrusting. My horoscope says I'm secretive, but are all scorpios like that too? That will be freaky, but I do know of a scorpio who probably faces the similar situation. Elaine mentioned briefly about a shell that people do have around them at times, but is it even scarier if people around you do not even know of the existence of the shell, because you have masked it so well through years of drilling and training? Its thought-provoking, really.

2008-04-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

Why, it seems too bright to be the night sky
Heart pounding, footsteps trailing
Recurring breathing; in the woods—
the trees console, the
Winds soothes—

The cars screech to a halt
Drivers gazed.
She revered each moment
Of raucous silence – is it?
The background noises of in this city
Too familiar, yet distant—

Obscurity, in every sense of the word.

I have decided to lift the password thing since what has been said has already been said, and the past shall fade into the shadows. I hate my 2005-2007 posts, they’re largely glaring at me and I can’t imagine how I lived that sort of life. It kind of bothers me now and then, still. Of course these things live with you forever, it will be dormant, but it will always be there. Let’s just hope I somehow, miraculously, get over it. (: Gosh.

Honestly somehow I still secretly wish that I had that type of mentality (I told you its dormant!) but its okay, I’m happy as I am now and I think that’s the best I can ask for.

Today was a good day, I never felt so relaxed! Not like the stress in the past 100hrs got me moving in the right direction, but it kind of clamps up my heart in a bizarre manner that makes me gray. Okay maybe it’s a little too abstract to understand because I figure everyone else was going in the right direction. >.<

Off to the sofa! :D